2002-11-26 - 1:05 p.m.
It was the year 1986. His name was Brian O. My first acute crush was at the ripe old age of 9. I was always the youngest in my class, in case you were wondering. My birthday is in November..and somehow I managed to slip into 1st grade at 5 years old, because I could read. But, back to the crush...I was in the 5th grade. Every girl adored him (pretty much everything about him). He was the most popular boy in our class. He and his cohort, Chris U. were both the shining soccer stars of our class. My memories of Brian aren't that extensive..he was an altar boy, a cub scout, a soccer star, made average grades and probably what made him most intriguing is that he was a Yankee from Michigan and talked with a nasal accent. The real scandalous part that makes him forever a part of my memory is that I was the chosen one for a brief period of time during 5th grade. We were in the 2nd reading group together. (How I was demoted to the 2nd reading group, I haven't quite figured out. I have a theory..but, I don't want it to mar this story.--I still hate you Avril "inflicted voice box" Horsley.) We sat beside each other every day during that time. The first thing that he did to claim his territory of LL is allow me to wear his SWATCH WATCH. I still remember it. It was the clear one that you could see through, but, I think he had blue bands on his.. Very cool. Much cooler than my red and green and yellow one with the plaid face. He even had the neato funky swatch guard on it. SIGH...I was in love. I had been claimed!! So..soon thereafter the sexy stuff began! He started kind of rubbing my leg with his hand...very gently, of course..but..still..my leg was A VIRGIN! It felt so good to be bad. My adolescence began the minute he started! All kinds of crazy feelings and hormones going wild. The leg rubbing climaxed when he eventually would take my hand in his and we commenced the infamous Brian and LL hand holding/rubbing sessions. My, what a sneaky Catholic school girl I was. Well...tragically, toward the end of that year, I lost Brian and my luscious reading group sessions because Meghan B. had bigger boobies (still does, too). He was even honest enough to explain to me that's why I was being dumped. I'll never get over it. Never. Thanks, Brian! I pretty much accepted that he was over me at the end of that year when he showed me what elephantiasis of the nuts looked like in the World Book.
Ahem, --yeah. You can't hide class. Wherever you are Brian O., thanks for initiating my passion for reading.
