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Friday, Jan. 09, 2004 - 10:55 am

My New Years Resolutions, I must admit haven�t even been thought about. I will say though, that I was quickly reminded this week that one of the top resolutions on my list is to not take life for granted anymore.

I've been crying the last 2 days about how much I take for granted and am realizing that I am not living my life the way I need to. I want to let everyone know that I love them, and be close to my family, (location wise � even though this isn�t possible for a long while). I feel like I'm missing so much. Sunday dinners are a pretty big tradition in our family. I�m sure you�ve at least heard before that dinner is lunch in the South and supper is what you or I refer to as dinner. On Sundays, we eat like it�s Thanksgiving or something..and usually extended family come and it�s yummy and wonderful all at the same time. I also have to choose whose birthday to go to, now. Birthdays have always been a huge occasion for my immediate family. We get to choose our favorite breakfast, choose the restaurant that night for supper, etc. You are the boss and everyone does things for the birthday person for an entire day. This year is my Mom's 50th is in February, and we're going but, my little brother's birthday is in July and it's his 21st. My entire immediate family is going down to Mississippi (coastal) to go to the casinos to help him celebrate, per his request, (they don't have gambling in Alabama). How cute is it that he wants us all there! But, it's so expensive! The worst last year was my first Christmas away from home. I would have been much happier if Christmas with at least one of our families would have happened. (We spent Christmas here in WA, together).

My great aunt lost her battle with cancer on Wed. Losing her made me realize that I don't want to miss all of these traditions with my family. The bitch of it is, I sent her a card on Monday and, I'm pretty sure she didn't get it. It was sort of my last thoughts/prayers, etc., b/c I didn't want to bother her with a phone call. At least bothering her for 5 minutes, would have let her know I was praying for her and that I loved her one last time. I guess what I'm saying is I want to live my life like everyday is my last so that everyone knows how I feel and will never miss their card.

When someone dies I always wonder what my purpose is. What am I here for? Why is it so easy to take things for granted? Ugg..it pisses me off.

On a much lighter note, I must share some happy stories with you from this week. I hope you enjoy them, b/c they have helped me through this week. Monday, I returned to work (my Nanny job). I nanny for 2 little boys. They are 8 and 5 years old. The 5 year old just turned 5 in Dec. and when I got back to work on Monday, he was thinking really hard and finally said to me, �Monkey, will you love me forever?� Of course, my heart lifted and I replied yes. As a TREMENDOUS Milne fan, it was definitely a Pooh/Christopher Robin moment. Later that afternoon, he was thinking again, and to fill you in a little bit..he and I made up a song together which includes the line, �..is my favorite 4 year old��. So, after the wheels stopped he said, �Monkey, am I your favorite 5 year old now? You can have a new favorite 4 year old..and we have to change our song.� Precious.

Now..the funniest part of the week�the oldest one was out of school (3rd grade) on Tuesday and Wednesday for snow days. Wed., I went back to work and we were eating McDonalds before our date to see Peter Pan. He was looking at this particular fry that had a small piece of skin on the end of it. He was analyzing it quietly, and decided to eat the �black end�. He made the most hilarious face I�ve ever seen, and I thought he was going to throw up right all over the table. I asked him if he was okay..and he said, �Yeah..but, ewwwwww�Monkey, don�t eat the �black ended� fries, b/c they taste like ladybugs smell.� I laughed out loud so hard that I cried, and people in McDonalds stared. It healed me a bit that day.

 

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