Wednesday, Feb. 25, 2004 - 1:32 pm
I have decided to begin a spiritual journey, y'all. And, I'm nervous. Okay..sorry to sound like Tyra there for a second...but, I'm serious. It seems like amazing timing seeing how it is, in fact the beginning of Lent.
Scott and I went to the gym last night after work, and it felt damn good. I guess the impetus of this journey is RDG's booby and my Mom is having similar issues with her uterus; which they're removing tomorrow.
Well, there are a lot of reasons, actually. There are a lot of holes inside this soul that need some attention. Otherwise, I'm going to keep pedaling along at this pace that I'm not so happy with right now in my life.
I feel like I'm one of the few people in my crew that still believes in God...and don't worry..I'm not a preacher and Catholics generally don't go around trying to save people, b/c we're focused on saving ourselves..so, no lectures from me or anything. I just really want to reconnect with my spirituality because it is a very useful guide for me. Perhaps I trained myself that way..er..rather was trained to use that as a guide, but it works and it is very calming and helps me realize that I'm here for a purpose and I need to focus on that and not things like who will not be attending my parties, and why last year I was the only one absent at the ANTM gatherings..and this year..my husband and I are the only attendants..you know? Cuz that bullshit is really getting me down. I'm also like way PMS, but still.
I went to Mass today for Ash Wednesday and really like the priest. He was like Lent is not like New Years where you just give up something and it's over on Easter Sunday..it is the beginning of a journey to purify your soul. I like the idea of that, don't you? I mean..there is a lot of shit that I need to get off my chest and deal with.
Scott and I had a huge awakening during our trip to Alabama last weekend and it is really interesting to me how the discoveries of your partner don't just stop when you say, "I do"..it's almost like after that everything means so much more. My love for him thickens every day. I like it thick and oozy. We are a good team, he and I.
I also am fantasizing quite seriously about the cabin by the lake or river somewhere in Alabama that RDG, Scott and I will buy and where RDG and I will spend the rest of our days as fat ole ladies, sipping PBR and fishing all day long, so Scott and scale, gut and fry our catch of the day. Sounds mighty nice.
To Scott and Red:
"I could never love again so much as I love you
Where you end where I begin is like a river going through
Take my eyes take my heart I need them no more
If never again they fall upon the one I so adore" - DMB
